Jokes about bankers

A bank worker calls the other: - Hey - Hey - How are you? - Well - Oh, sorry, do not get there in a large pot system takes the chief accountant. The composition of certification committee made up of leading experts, analysts, auditors, etc. Passing each, a few of the contestants get to the last stage - the main founder of the bank. And he asks only one question "How much is two plus two?" Those who answer "4" negative waves head. Suitable another contestant, and the duty question is answered: "44." Founder: "Wow! Well, to sense why? "Contestant:" Twenty-you, twenty-I, and four to the cashier. In the office must be order. "If the bank kicks you out of debt, it kollektorstvo. If you knock out their money from the banker, it's extortion. A man came to the bank and wrote a letter to a credit card. In the application form to the card he wrote the code :...." KRIVEDKO word. "Manager to execute documents on the plastic before you give him a card, inscribed in pencil on the envelope" Ya Credit Card! "Large Bank. Time - 18.00, all employees sit working. One of the officers off the computer , puts on his jacket, takes the briefcase and left. All escorted his disapproving gaze. Next day. At 18.00 the same officer turns off the computer, puts on his jacket, takes the briefcase and left. All continue to work and begin to whisper dissatisfied Next day ... At 18.00 the same employee turns off the computer, puts on his jacket, takes a portfolio and then flies up to him a colleague. - John, are not you ashamed, we're sitting work, the end of the quarter, as many reports, we also want to home in time and you're such an individual farmer ... - Guys, yes I did a LEAVE! Chief Accountant sits at the table. Before him two glasses, one with red wine, the other white. drink white - then drink as much red. And again: sip of white - sip red. He asked : - What are you doing? Why red white drink? He replied: - reverses: If a person lives for others, he or crook, or lazy, if he lives well for others, it is a banker or a deputy. If you owe the bank 100 dollars - this is your problem. If you owe the bank a million dollars, it's a problem bank. There are two janitor. One long look at another and says: - You have such a person familiar ... which bank you used to work? Are the killepy, As usual, in the stairwell, waiting ochepednogo bankipa. Hour stand, two tris. Bankipa not. And then one does not vydepzhivaet and govopit: "I'm beginning to pepezhivat can with what happened?" In a country crisis, money, banks do not ! - And where did they go? - given to the organization, the factories. - And the organization? - of - the people. - And the people? - People - Shopping, stalls and kiosks. - And the shops? - From the shopping taken collectors and taken to the banks . - If the stores - the banks, where is the money? man comes to the bank for advice: - I want to start a small business. What do I do? - Buy a big business and wait. The call to the bank: - You give credit to patients psychoneurological dispensary? - Dai, but a crazy rate ...