Jokes about traders and brokers. Part one

Two stock broker: - So far, I can not sleep after the crisis. - I sleep like a baby. - Do not be! - Yes, every time I wake up and cry! ***** Bartender Broker: - Another 100 grams of investments, and I - real estate! ***** There are two traders, one asks the other: - You do one, a bull or bear? The second looked at him with sad eyes and said: - Yes kid, I kid ... ***** An experienced trader teaches beginner: - Remember, opening the position, an intelligent man is always in all his doubts. Dupak only be fully uvepennym in something. - You uvepeny this, Master? - Absolutely. ***** Go to work two weary trader after a busy day. One another, "Hey, so Metro is already closed". - "Yeah, but at what price?" ***** Exchange. Top views of the room - the room. Three broker. The two are worn, three telephone handset in their hands, shouting: "Bring to two! Take it! Take off ten and give up! Four down !..." One, dreamily looking out the window: - Snow falls ... Second pause ... - Sell! ***** Announcement: We take to the trader's work, gender and age do not matter, salaries - very high, free work schedule, holidays - anywhere in the world, at any time. Condition: buy cheaper and sell - more expensive. ***** Traders crossword puzzles: - fallen creature, five letters, the last - soft sign? - The ruble! ***** It takes an investment fund manager at the airport customs. Comes to his turn, well, he gets the documents gives them the customs officer. The customs officer examines them carefully, and then asks: Where did the profits? Manager says: Well, what profit? Some losses! ***** Earn Forex: $ 500 - normally. $ 1,000 - well. $ 5,000 - excellent. $ 20 000 - well, is not bad ... ***** Sit two young and experienced trader. Young: - Do you think the market will go where? Experienced: - Up or down - I do not know, but I know that right. ***** There are two friends. One Fingal half-face and arm in a cast. - What is it? - Yes, one trader at korporativku called, well, I'm toast, and said-I said? - "Three elk," said ... ***** Trader invited his neighbors to dinner. During dinner, he asked what they do for a living. Seven year old Misha jumps up and shouts joyfully: - My dad - a cool fisherman! - Misha, why do you call a fisherman dad, he's the broker? - Every time we come to work for him, we see the same picture. Dad on the phone, and when hangs up, then laughs, rubs his hands together and saying: "Well, I caught another fish! ***** I do if trading? - Asked how a novice from an experienced trader. Take care, - he answered. - If it comes - will become a rich man, and if it does not lose everything - a philosopher. ***** The specific work on Forex: when the "money makes money" traders are close to the candles.