Jokes about traders and brokers. Part Three

The priest died and was in line in front of the Gate of Paradise. Before him stands a man in the queue in sunglasses, a bright shirt, leather jacket and jeans. St. Peter asks the man: "Tell me who you were in life, so I can decide whether to let you into the kingdom of God?". The man replies: "I'm Joe Cohen, a broker on the Stock Exchange in New York. "Saint Peter consults with his list. Then he smiles and says the broker," Take this silken robe and golden staff and come to the Gates of Paradise. Broker goes off and the turn of the priest. He rises to his full height and blurts out: "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of the church of St. Mary in the last 43 years." Saint Peter consults his list with the priest and said, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and the entrance to the Gates of Paradise." "Wait, - said the priest - the man before me was a broker, and he received a silk robe and golden staff but I, a priest, was only cotton clothing and wooden staff? How is that possible?". ***** "We reward depending on the result, - meets St. Peter. - When you read his sermons, the people fall asleep, but as soon as people became his clients, they began to pray unceasingly to God!" *****-Hooray! Guessed the entry point ... -... Oh, that's just wrong with the direction. ***** Bury the trader, who died at work from a heart attack. The procession goes coworkers, and one of them says to another: "But if pokoynichek for ten minutes longer lived, as if to stop-loss has run." ***** The phrases most often prior to the collapse of the currency or the stock market: analysts all at once can not be wrong! Share prices have finally reached a level that they are unlikely to pierce, as there awaits them a very strong support. Let's hope that tomorrow the situation is corrected. At least that is worse can not be! I am confident that we have reached the bottom. Most likely, this is just a correction. This method of analysis always works. No need to panic! ***** Exchange - long-range gun ... Not even see who you ***** robbed trader broker on the phone: - Do not cover me for margin-Cola. I am informed the money, wait. I am a former broker. - Broker: No, no. Adjourn without fail. I myself - a former trader. ***** Unemployed broker, trading in the market potatoes, always easy to find - it has two prices: the purchase and sale of ... ***** - Daddy, I want to be a trader. - Over my dead body. - Well, in general, I have merged the 100 pieces in stock ... ***** Three stock analyst on the hunt. See big deer. One takes aim, shoots, misses - a meter to the left. Second - aims, shoots, did not get - right on the meter. A third analyst, not firing: - Well, on the average - we killed him!