Jokes about traders and brokers. Part two

A trader came to palmists: - You're defining the future of the lines? - Yes, of course, define: past, present and future. - Well, - said the trader, and laid before him a stack of printouts stock charts. ***** Stockbroker asked to tell what the essence of the exchange game. - Imagine - he says - that you buy a pair of rabbits and planting them in the same cage. After a while, you have six rabbits. You buy more cage and transplant them back. Even after a while you have these rabbits was twenty. You buying more rabbits, and soon you will become more of a hundred. - How easy! - Surprised the source. - Yeah ... Then suddenly a flood, and all your rabbits were killed and you tormented from morning to night with the thought: - Damn, why I have not bought mirror carp! ***** In addition to the fire and moving water is another thing that people can watch endlessly - it's price change on the chart. ***** All the people are divided into two categories: first do not know what Forex and the latter do not like him. ***** Broker - someone who is always ready, willing and able to pull your money for their fees. ***** An investor asks his financial advisor: - For all my money gone? All gone to the penny? - Why is lost? Simply, they now belong to someone else. ***** There are two girlfriends, wives of traders: - My constantly mutters in his sleep 70-80, 70-80, 70-80 ...... What should I do? - And his will prompt "Sell" or "Buy", - he was silent. My husband again rattled in his sleep "70-80, 70-80, 70-80 ...", and his wife to him - Vuy! - Taking!!! Fresh!!! 80-90, 80-90, 80-90 ... ***** Production meeting after meeting of shareholders. Performs Director: Gentlemen Our shareholders are stupid, incoherent and extremely arrogant people. Stupid - because we have invested in the money. Inconsistent - because they no longer want to do this. And the top arrogance, in my opinion, now that we are already in severe financial hardship, to demand back the money invested ... ***** Technical analysis - the art of drawing curves on the basis of unproven assertions to support predetermined conclusions. ***** A trader in a barbershop. The barber asks: - Well, how's the situation on the stock market? Trader: - normalized. After a while the barber asks again: - Well, how's the situation on the stock market? Trader: - normalized. After another 5 minutes, the situation is repeated. Finally, the trader does not stand up and wondered why he keeps asking the same thing. Hairdresser: - Because of the issue you have hair stand on end, to cut comfortably.